3 Secrets to Writing Killer Ad Copy... and Sleeping With Anyone You Want.

Written September 14th, 2008

Hi there.

   First off, I'm sure you all are wondering why I saw fit to put "Sleep With Anyone You Want" as a logical-sounding addition to a special report on writing sales copy. Well, aside from me knowing that it would help get your attention, it's also kind of true. While what I'm about to tell you won't have you sleeping with Carmen Electra by the end of this week (or George Clooney, if you'd prefer), I can tell you that the people who have slept with her (or George) got there by doing exactly this.

   My name's Josh Johnson, and if you have a minute, I'd like to teach you what a world-class copywriter has in common with every successful "pickup artist" in the world.

   One of the most overlooked aspects of running a successful business has to be writing the ad copy. Anyone who's ever opened a magazine has some idea of how an advertisement is supposed to look. You need a headline, you need features and benefits, and don't forget the price point! But what is it that separates an OK ad with a 1% response rate from a truly killer piece of copy with 5-10% response rates, or higher?

   How does a "pickup artist" convince right-minded women to sleep with him, often within hours of first meeting them? Well, here are 3 of the key factors that separate the quintessential ladies man from everyone else at the club who strikes out nightly - and how these tidbits of "gray-area" knowledge are vitally important to your success as a business owner.

Empathy

    Every good pickup artist knows that the most important thing to any one person is themselves. He learns everything he can about his current "target" as quickly as he can, and he changes his strategies real-time to adapt to what he learns. What does a businessperson have to learn from this? Everything! While this is especially true if you sell a "niche" product or service, no matter what you sell, you must know everything there is to know about your target consumer, and what they're thinking when they need your product.

   If you're spending money advertising and you're not getting any solid psychological insights into the thoughts and buying habits of the people you're selling to, then I'm 100% positive that you're not getting the value for your money that you should be. I don't care what business you're in, or how long your system has "worked pretty well" - If the simple act of advertising your product isn't bringing you in lots of valuable information that you can use to sell your product better in the future, then your system isn't as good as it could be.

Parroting Back Their Thoughts

   How do you get someone to make a decision that they wouldn't normally make? A very important question to anyone who has anything to sell, and to a pickup artist as well, because what is he doing if not selling himself? So what sly "jedi mind trick" does he use to talk a woman into... well, into his bed? One so simple, it's a stretch to call it a "trick."

   He's got empathy, he knows to some extent how the "target" feels... all he does is parrot their feelings back at them, while offering a logical solution to what is now "our problem" tacked on at the end. If you see a woman sitting at a singles bar, looking sad and out of place, you can make some pretty safe guesses as to at least a few things she's thinking that you can then take on yourself, and parrot back at her.

"Hey. Can I buy you a drink? Thanks. This 'bar hopping' thing is strange, isn't it? It's been so long since the last time I was single, it's a little intimidating to just pick it back up... You seem nice, though."

   Seems too easy, right? That's because it is! I've known business owners who have spent hours working on ads that contained nothing but the product's name, a slogan, a price, and a phone number. No matter how catchy the slogan is, no matter how competitive the price, your competition will beat you if they run an ad next to yours that parrots back the specific thoughts your customers have when they think about your product.

   It's not enough to know how they feel. They have to know that you know how they feel. Once you've established that, they're a lot more likely to listen to any ideas you may have that would make them feel better. If you can't immediately figure out how you can use this to sell your product better, then read it again. This "trick" makes people rich, and makes rich people wealthy.

Close the Deal

   The single most important part of any sales pitch is the ending. The pickup artist won't get his "date" if he doesn't ask for it, and that's every bit as true to you the businessperson. Your sales copy can be perfect, but if it doesn't close with a "call to action", then you're not getting your sale. You can't be afraid of sounding pushy, because people who don't lead are usually pushed out of the way and bypassed. On this step, you have it way easier than the pickup artist. He has to get up the guts to ask someone to come home with him... but you?

"Click Here to Reserve Your Spot!" or "Get Your Copy Now!"

"Download Your New Software Here!" or "Call Now for This Limited Time Offer!"

   Piece of cake, right?

   So there you go. 3 simple tools of the trade for every copywriter, and every womanizer, on the planet. I'm not saying that these tactics are "morally acceptable" to use when you're looking for someone to snuggle up next to, but I am saying that they work, and that whoever figured that out first must have been a pretty good copywriter.

   Use what you can to improve the sales copy for your website, or in your ads wherever you buy them. They work. Almost too well.